Eminem

 

KILL YOU

When I was just a little baby boy,
my momma used to tell me these crazy things
She used to tell me my daddy was an evil man,
she used to tell me he hated me
But then I got a little bit older
and I realized, she was the crazy one
But there was nothin I could do or say to try to change it
cause that's just the way she was
They said I can't rap about bein broke no more
They say I can't rap about coke no more
(AHHH!) Slut, you think I won't choke no whore
til the vocal cords don't work in her throat no more?!
(AHHH!) These motherfuckers are thinkin I'm playin
Thinkin I'm sayin the shit cause I'm thinkin it just to be sayin it
(AHHH!) Put your hands down bitch, I ain't gon' shoot you
I'ma pull YOU to this bullet, and put it through you
(AHHH!) Shut up slut, you're causin too much chaos
Just bend over and take it slut, okay Ma?
"Oh, now he's raping his own mother, abusing a whore,
snorting coke, and we gave him the Rolling Stone cover?"
You god damn right BITCH, and now it's too late
I'm triple platinum and tragedies happen in two states
I invented violence, you vile venomous volatile bitches
vain Vicadin, vrinnn Vrinnn, VRINNN!
Texas Chainsaw, left his brains all
danglin from his neck, while his head barely hangs on
Blood, guts, guns, cuts
Knives, lives, wives, nuns, sluts

Chorus:
Bitch I'ma kill you!  You don't wanna fuck with me
Girls leave - you ain't nuttin but a slut to me
Bitch I'ma kill you!  You ain't got the balls to beef
We ain't gon' never stop beefin I don't squash the beef
You better kill me!  I'ma be another rapper dead
for poppin off at the mouth with shit I shouldn'ta said
But when they kill me - I'm bringin the world with me
Bitches too!  You ain't nuttin but a girl to me
.. I said you don't, wanna fuck with Shady (cause why?)
Cause Shady, will fuckin kill you (ah-haha)
I said you don't, wanna fuck with Shady (why?)
Cause Shady, will fuckin kill you

Bitch I'ma kill you!  Like a murder weapon, I'ma conceal you
in a closet with mildew, sheets, pillows and film you
Buck with me, I been through hell, shut the hell up!
I'm tryin to develop these pictures of the Devil to sell 'em
I ain't ask to rap, but I rap on acid
Got a new blow-up probe and just had a strap-on added
WHOOPS!  Is that a subliminal hint?  NO!
Just criminal intent to sodomize women again
Eminem offend?  No, Eminem on assault!
And if you ever give in to him, you give him an impulse
to do it again, THEN, if he does it again
you'll probably end up jumpin out of somethin up on the 10th
(Ahhhhhhhh!)
Bitch I'ma kill you, I ain't done this ain't the chorus
I ain't even drug you in the woods yet to paint the forest
A bloodstain is orange after you wash it three or four times
in a tub but that's normal ain't it Norman?
Serial killer hidin murder material
in a cereal box on top of your stereo
Here we go again, we're out of our medicine
out of our minds, and we want in yours, let us in

Chorus

Eh-heh, know why I say these things?
Cause lady's screams keep creepin in Shady's dreams
And the way things seem, I shouldn't have to pay these shrinks
this eighty G's a week to say the same things TWEECE!
TWICE?  Whatever, I hate these things
Fuck shots!  I hope the weed'll outweigh these drinks
Motherfuckers want me to come on their radio shows
just to argue with 'em cause their ratings stink?
FUCK THAT!  I'll choke radio announcer to bouncer
from fat bitch to off seventy-thousand pounds of her
from principal to the study body and counselor
from in-school to before school to out of school
I don't even believe in breathin I'm leavin air in your lungs
just to hear you keep screamin for me to seep it
OKAY, I'M READY TO GO PLAY
I GOT THE MACHETE FROM O.J.
I'M READY TO MAKE EVERYONE'S THROATS ACHE
You faggots keep eggin me on
til I have you at knifepoint, then you beg me to stop?
SHUT UP!  Give me your hands and feet
I said SHUT UP when I'm talkin to you
YOU HEAR ME?  ANSWER ME!

Chorus

Hahaha, I'm just playin ladies
You know I love you


STAN

Chorus:
My tea's gone cold I'm wondering why I..
Got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window..
And I can't see at all
And even if I could it'll all be gray,
But your picture on my wall
It reminds me, that it's not so bad,
It's not so bad..


Dear Slim, I wrote but you still ain't callin
I left my cell, my pager, and my home phone at the bottom
I sent two letters back in autumn, you must not-a got 'em
There probably was a problem at the post office or somethin
Sometimes I scribble addresses too sloppy when I jot 'em
but anyways; fuck it, what's been up?  Man how's your daughter?
My girlfriend's pregnant too, I'm bout to be a father
If I have a daughter, guess what I'ma call her?
I'ma name her Bonnie
I read about your Uncle Ronnie too I'm sorry
I had a friend kill himself over some bitch who didn't want him
I know you probably hear this everyday, but I'm your biggest fan
I even got the underground shit that you did with Skam
I got a room full of your posters and your pictures man
I like the shit you did with Rawkus too, that shit was fat
Anyways, I hope you get this man, hit me back,
just to chat, truly yours, your biggest fan
This is Stan

Chorus

Dear Slim, you still ain't called or wrote, I hope you have a chance
I ain't mad - I just think it's FUCKED UP you don't answer fans
If you didn't wanna talk to me outside your concert
you didn't have to, but you coulda signed an autograph for Matthew
That's my little brother man, he's only six years old
We waited in the blistering cold for you,
Four hours and you just said, "No."
That's pretty shitty man - you're like his fuckin idol
He wants to be just like you man, he likes you more than I do
I ain't that mad though, I just don't like bein lied to
Remember when we met in Denver - you said if I'd write you
you would write back - see I'm just like you in a way
I never knew my father neither;
He used to always cheat on my mom and beat her
I can relate to what you're saying in your songs
so when I have a shitty day, I drift away and put 'em on
cause I don't really got shit else so that shit helps when I'm depressed
I even got a tattoo of your name across the chest
Sometimes I even cut myself to see how much it bleeds
It's like adrenaline, the pain is such a sudden rush for me
See everything you say is real, and I respect you cause you tell it
My girlfriend's jealous cause I talk about you 24/7
But she don't know you like I know you Slim, no one does
She don't know what it was like for people like us growin up
You gotta call me man, I'll be the biggest fan you'll ever lose
Sincerely yours, Stan -- P.S. We should be together too

Chorus

Dear Mister-I'm-Too-Good-To-Call-Or-Write-My-Fans,
this'll be the last package I ever send your ass
It's been six months and still no word - I don't deserve it?
I know you got my last two letters;
I wrote the addresses on 'em perfect
So this is my cassette I'm sending you, I hope you hear it
I'm in the car right now, I'm doing 90 on the freeway
Hey Slim, I drank a fifth of vodka, you dare me to drive?
You know the song by Phil Collins, "In the Air Tonight"
about that guy who coulda saved that other guy from drowning
but didn't, then Phil saw it all, then at a a show he found him?
That's kinda how this is, you coulda rescued me from drowning
Now it's too late - I'm on a 1000 downers now, I'm drowsy
and all I wanted was a lousy letter or a call
I hope you know I ripped ALL of your pictures off the wall
I love you Slim, we coulda been together, think about it
You ruined it now, I hope you can't sleep and you dream about it
And when you dream I hope you can't sleep and you SCREAM about it
I hope your conscience EATS AT YOU and you can't BREATHE without me
See Slim; {*screaming*}
Shut up bitch!  I'm tryin to talk!
Hey Slim, that's my girlfriend screamin in the trunk
but I didn't slit her throat, I just tied her up, see I ain't like you
cause if she suffocates she'll suffer more, and then she'll die too
Well, gotta go, I'm almost at the bridge now
Oh shit, I forgot, how'm I supposed to send this shit out?

Chorus

Dear Stan, I meant to write you sooner but I just been busy
You said your girlfriend's pregnant now, how far along is she?
Look, I'm really flattered you would call your daughter that
and here's an autograph for your brother,
I wrote it on the Starter cap
I'm sorry I didn't see you at the show, I musta missed you
Don't think I did that shit intentionally just to diss you
But what's this shit you said about you like to cut your wrists too?
I say that shit just clownin dogg,
C'mon - how fucked up is you?
You got some issues Stan, I think you need some counseling
to help your ass from bouncing off the walls when you get down some
And what's this shit about us meant to be together?
That type of shit'll make me not want us to meet each other
I really think you and your girlfriend need each other
or maybe you just need to treat her better
I hope you get to read this letter, I just hope it reaches you in time
before you hurt yourself, I think that you'll be doin just fine
if you relax a little, I'm glad I inspire you but Stan
why are you so mad?  Try to understand, that I do want you as a fan
I just don't want you to do some crazy shit
I seen this one shit on the news a couple weeks ago that made me sick
Some dude was drunk and drove his car over a bridge
and had his girlfriend in the trunk, and she was pregnant with his kid
and in the car they found a tape, but they didn't say who it was to
Come to think about, his name was.. it was you
Damn

Paul

Em, what's goin' on...It's Paul...ahhm...Dre gave me a copy of the new album...and...I just...Fuck it.

WHO KNEW?

I never knew I..
I never knew I..
Mic check one-two
I never knew
I..
Who woulda knew?
I never knew I..
Who'da known?
I never knew I..
Fuck what a story
I never knew I..
Motherfucker comes out
I never knew I..
and sells a couple of million records
I never knew I..
And these motherfuckers hit the ceiling
I never knew I..

I don't do black music, I don't do white music
I make fight music, for high school kids
I put lives at risk when I drive like this
I put wives at risk with a knife like this (AHHH!!)
Shit, you probably think I'm in your tape deck now
I'm in the back seat of your truck, with duct tape stretched out
Ducked the fuck way down, waitin to straight jump out
put it over your mouth, and grab you by the face, what now?
Oh - you want me to watch my mouth, how?
Take my fuckin eyeballs out, and turn em around?
Look - I'll burn your fuckin house down, circle around
and hit the hydrant, so you can't put your burning furniture out
(Oh my God! Oh my God!)
I'm sorry, there must be a mix-up
You want me to fix up lyrics while the President gets his dick sucked?
Fuck that, take drugs, rape sluts
Make fun of gay clubs, men who wear make-up
Get aware, wake up, get a sense of humor
Quit tryin to censor music, this is for your kid's amusement
(The kids!)
But don't blame me when lil' Eric jumps off of the terrace
You shoulda been watchin him - apparently you ain't parents

Chorus:
Cause I never knew I, knew I would get this big
I never knew I, knew I'd affect this kid
I never knew I'd, get him to slit his wrist
I never knew I'd, get him to hit this bitch
I never knew I, knew I would get this big
I never knew I, knew I'd affect this kid
I never knew I'd, get him to slit his wrist
I never knew I'd, get him to hit this bitch

So who's bringin the guns in this country?  (Hmm?)
I couldn't sneak a plastic pellet gun through customs over in London
And last week, I seen a Schwarzenegger movie
where he's shootin all sorts of these motherfuckers with a uzi
I sees three little kids, up in the front row,
screamin "Go," with their 17-year-old Uncle
I'm like, "Guidance - ain't they got the same moms and dads
who got mad when I asked if they liked violence?"
And told me that my tape taught 'em to swear
What about the make-up you allow your 12-year-old daughter to wear?
(Hmm?)  So tell me that your son doesn't know any cuss words
when his bus driver's screamin at him, fuckin him up worse
("Go sit the fuck down, you little fuckin prick!")
And fuck was the first word I ever learned
up in the third grade, flippin the gym teacher the bird (Look!)
So read up, about how I used to get beat up
peed on, be on free lunch, and change school every 3 months
My life's like kinda what my wife's like (what?)
Fucked up after I beat her fuckin ass every night, Ike
So how much easier would life be
if 19 million motherfuckers grew to be just like me?

Chorus

I never knew I.. knew I'd..have a new house or a new car
A couple years ago I was more poorer than you are
I don't got that bad of a mouth, do I?
Fuck shit ass bitch cunt, shooby-de-doo-wop (what?)
Skibbedy-be-bop, a-Christopher Reeves
Sonny Bono, skis horses and hittin some trees (HEY!)
How many retards'll listen to me
and run up in the school shootin when they're pissed at a
teach-er, her, him, is it you is it them?
"Wasn't me, Slim Shady said to do it again!"
Damn!  How much damage can you do with a pen?
Man I'm just as fucked up as you woulda been
if you woulda been, in my shoes, who woulda thought
Slim Shady would be somethin that you woulda bought
that woulda made you get a gun and shoot at a cop
I just said it - I ain't know if you'd do it or not

Chorus

How the fuck was I supposed to know?

Steve Berman

Eminem: Heyyy!
Steve: Hey, Em, what's up?
Eminem: Steve Berman. What's goin' on, man, how you doin? Good to see you again. What's up?
Steve: Em, could you come here and have a seat, please?
Eminem: Umm, yeah, what's...
Steve: Vannessa, shut the door.
Secretary: Okay.
Eminem: So what's up? How's orders looking for the first week?
Steve: It would be better if you gave me nothing at all.
Eminem: Wh-
Steve: This album is less than nothing. I can't sell this fucking record.
Eminem: Wha-
Steve: Do you know what's happening to me out there?
Eminem: Wh-wha-what's the problem?
Steve: Violent Ground told me to go fuck myself!
Eminem: Who's Violent...?
Steve: Tower Records told me to shove this record up my ass! Do you know what it feels like to be told to have a record shoved up your ass?
Eminem: But, I-
Steve: I'm gonna lose my fuckin' job over this. You know why Dre's record was so successful? He's rappin' about big-screen tv's, blunts, 40's and bitches. You're rappin' about homosexuals and Vicadin.
Eminem: I mean-
Steve: I can't sell this shit!
Eminem: What-
Steve: Either change the record or it's not coming out!
Eminem: What, I-
Steve: Now get the fuck out of my office!
Eminem: What am I supposed-
Steve: NOW!
Eminem: Alright man, whatever.

THE WAY I AM

Dre just let it run
A yo turn the beat up a little bit
A yo
This song is for anyone
Fuck it shut up and listen
A yo,
I sit back with this pack of Zig Zags and this bag
Of this weed it gives me the shit needed to be
The most meanest MC on this
On this Earth
And since birth I've been cursed with this curse to just curse
And just blurt this berserk and bizarre shit that works
And it sells and it helps in itself to relieve
All this tension dispensin me sentences gettin it
Stress that's been eaten me recently offa this chest
And I rest again peacefully
But at least have the decency in you to leave me alone
When you freaks see me out in the streets when I'm eatin or feedin my daughter
To not come and speak to me
I don't know you and no, I don't owe you a motherfucking thing
I'm not Mr. N'Sync
I'm not what your friends think
I'm not Mr. friendly
I can be a prick
If you tip me my tank is on empty
No patience is in me and if you offend me I'm liftin you 10 feet
In the air I don't care who is there and who saw me just jaw you
Go call you a lawyer go file you a lawsuit
I'll smile in the courtroom and buy you a wardrobe
I'm tired of all you
I don't mean to be mean but that's all I can be is just me

Chorus:
And I am whatever you say I am
If I wasn't then why would I say I am
In the paper, the news everyday I am
Radio won't even play my jam
Cuz I am whatever you say I am
If I wasn't then why would I say I am
In the paper, the news everyday I am
I don't know it's just the way I am

Sometimes I just feel like my father
I hate to be bothered
With alla this nonsense it's constant
Oh it's his lyrical content the song "Guilty Concience"
has gotten such rotten responses
And all-a this controversy circles me
And it seems like the media immedietly
Points a finger at me --
So I point one back at em but not the index or pinky
Or the ring or the thumb it's the one you put up
When you don't give a fuck when you won't just put up
With the bullshit they pull cuz they fulla shit too
When a dude's gettin bullied and shoots up his school
And they blame it on Marilyn
And the heroin where were the parents at
And look where it's at
Middle America now it's a tragedy now it's so sad to see
An upperclass city havin this happenin
Then attack Eminem cuz I rap this way
But I'm glad cuz they feed me the fuel that I need
For the fire to burn in it's burnin and I have returned

Chorus

I'm so sick and tired of being admired
That I wish I would just die or get fired
And drop from my label and stop with the fables
I'm not gonna be able to top what my name is
And pigeon-holed into some poppy sensation
To cop me rotation at rock-an-roll stations
And I just do not got the patience
To deal with these cocky Caucasians
Who think I'm some wigger who just tries to be black
Cuz I talk wit an accent and grab on my balls
So they always keep askin the same fucking questions
What school did I go to what hood I grew up in
And why the who what when the where and the how
till I'm grabbin my hair and I'm tearin it out
Cuz they drivin me crazy
I can't take it I'm racin I'm pacin
I stand and I sit
I'm thankful for every fan that I get
But I can't take a shit in the bathroom
Without someone standin by it
No I won't sign your autograph
You can call me an asshole I'm glad

Cuz I am whatever you say I am
If I wasn't then why would I say I am
In the paper, the news everyday I am
Radio won't even play my jam
Cuz I am whatever you say I am
If I wasn't then why would I say I am
In the paper, the news everyday I am
I don't know it's just the way I am


THE REAL SLIM SHADY

May I have your attention please?
May I have your attention please?
Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
I repeat, will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
We're gonna have a problem here

Y'all act like ya never seen a white person before
Jaws all on the floor like Pam, like Tommy just burst in the door
And started whooping her ass worse than before
They first were divorce, throwiní her over furniture (Ahh!)
It's the return of the..."Ah, wait, no way, you're kidding,
he just didn't say what I think he did, did he?"
And Dr. Dre said...
Nothing you idiots! Dr. Dre's dead, he's locked in my basement!(Ha-ha!)
Feminist women love Eminem
Slim Shady, I'm sick of him
Look at him, walking around grabbing his you-know-what
Flipping the you-know-who, yeah, but he's so cute though
Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
But no worse than what's going on in your parents' bedrooms
Sometimes, I wanna get on TV and just let loose, but can't
But it's cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose
My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips
And if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little kiss
And that's the message that we deliver to little kids
And expect them not to know what a woman's clitoris is
Of course they gonna know what intercourse is
By the time they hit fourth grade
They got the Discovery Channel don't they?
We ain't nothing but mammals
Well, some of us cannibals
Who cut other people open like cantaloupes
But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
Then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope
But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote
Women wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus and it goes

Chorus:
I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up?
Please stand up, please stand up
Cuz I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up?
Please stand up, please stand up

Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell his records
Well I do, so fuck him and fuck you too!
You think I give a damn about a Grammy?
Half of you critics can't even stomach me let alone stand me
"But Slim, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?"
Why? So you guys could just lie to get me here
So you can sit me here next to Britney Spears
Shit, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
So I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
And hear them argue over who she gave head to first
You little bitch, put me on Blast on MTV
"Yeah, he's cute, but I think he's married to Kim, hee-hee"
I should download her audio on MP3
And show the whole world how you gave Eminem VD
I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups
All you do is annoy me so I have been sent here to destroy you
And there's a million of us just like me
Who cuss like me; who just don't give a fuck like me
Who dress like me; walk, talk and act like me
And just might be the next best thing but not quite me!

Chorus

I'm like a head trip to listen to cuz I'm only giving you
Things you joke about with your friends inside your living room
The only difference is I got the balls to say it
In front of y'all and I don't gotta be frost or sugar coated at all
I just get on a mic and spit it and whether you like to admit it
I just shitted better than 90 percent of you rappers out there
Then you wonder how can kids eat up these albums like valiums
It's funny cuz at the rate I'm going when I'm 30
I'll be the only person in the nursing home flirting
Pinching nurses asses when I'm jacking off with Jergens
And Iím jerkiní but this whole bag of Viagra isn't working
And every single person is a Slim Shady lurking
He could be working at Burger King spitting on your onion rings
Or in the parking lot, circling, screaming I don't give a fuck!
With his windows down and his system up
So, will the real Shady please stand up?
And put one of those fingers on each hand up?
And be proud to be outta ya mind and outta control
And one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?

Chorus

Guess there's a Slim Shady in all of us
Fuck it, let's all stand up


REMEMBER ME?

Remember me? ("Several executions")
Remember me? ("I have no remorse")
Remember me? ("I'm high-powered")
Remember me? ("I drop bombs like Hiroshima")
For this, why it's the X, you retarded?
'Cause I grab the mic and get down, like syndrome
Hide in Rome and to the masses, without boundaries
Whice qualifies me for the term "universal"
Without no rehearsal, colleaged words is controversial
Like I'm not, the one you wanna contest, see
'Cause I'll hit your ass like the train did that bitch that got "Banned From TV"
Heavyweight get up, hit you, watch you're whole head split up
Loco is the motion, weed comin' through
Hollow tips in the lead, the .45 through

Remember me? ("Throw ya gunz in the air!")
Remember me? ("Slam!  Slam!")
Remember me? ("Nigga bacdafucup!")
Remember me? ("Chka-chka-Onyx!")
Niggas catchin' "no" for an answer, ghetto no
Yeah, that bitch hoe no'd but it was more like "no, no, no!!"
Life's a bitch; yeah it'll fuck you if you let her
Better come better than better to be a competitor
This ved is a head, the shit is all redder, you deader and deader
I better extended the cheddars and credda
Instead of vendetta, a mellow beretta from ghetto to ghetto
Evidence?  Nope!  Never leave a shredda
I got the soul of every rapper in me, love me or hate me
My moms got raped by the industry and made me
I'm the illest nigga ever, I told you
I get more pussy than them dyke bitches total
Want beef, nigga? PSH better dead that shit
My name should be "Can't-Believe-That-Nigga-Said-That-Shit"
Probably say "he ain't a killa", but I'm killin' myself
Smoke def, fuck bitches raw, on the kitchen floor
So think what I'ma do to you, have done to you
Got niggas in my hood who'd do that shit for a bullet too
What you wanna do, cocksuckers?  We're glock busters
'Til the cops cuff us, we'll start ruckus and drop blockbusters
'Round the clock hustlers, you cannot touch us
I'm gettin' wires niggas wantin' me dead
One in my head, you think it could be somethin' I said?

Remember me? ("I just don't give a fuck!")
Remember me? ("Yeah, fuck you too!")
Remember me? ("I'm low down and I'm shifty!")
Remember me? ("I'm shady!")
When I go out, I'ma go out shootin'
I don't mean when I die, I mean when I go out to the club, stupid
I'm tryin' to clear up my fuckin' image, so I promised the fuckin' critics
I wouldn't say "fuckin'" for six minutes
(*click* Six minutes, Slim Shady, you're on)
My baby's mom, bitch made me an angry blonde
So I made me a song, killed her and put Haley on
I may be wrong, I keep thinkin' these crazy thoughts
In my cranium, but I'm stuck with a crazy mom
(Is she really on as much dope as you say she's on?)
Came home, and somebody must've broke in the back window
And stole two golden machine guns and both of my trenchcoats
Sick sick dreams of picnic scenes, two kids, sixteen
And M-16's with ten clips eachAnd them shits reach through 6 kids each
And Slim gets blamed in Bill Clint's speech to fix these streets?
FUCK THAT! PSH you faggots can vanish to volcanic ash
And re-appear in hell with a can of gas, AND a match
Aftermath, Dre, grab the gat, show 'em where it's at
(What the fuck you starin' at, nigga?
)Don't you remember me?
Remember me?
Remember me?!
Remember me?!


I'M BACK

Chorus:
That's why they call me Slim Shady (I'm Back)
I'm Back, (I'm Back)
That's why they call me Slim Shady (I'm Back)
I'm Back, (I'm Back)
That's why they call me Slim Shady (I'm Back)
I'm Back, (I'm Back)
That's why they call me Slim Shady (I'm Back)
I'm Back, (I'm Back)

I murder a rhyme one word at a time
You never, heard of a mind as perverted as mine
You better, get rid of that nine, it aint gonna help
What good's it gonna do against a man that strangles himself?
I'm waitin for hell like hell shit I'm anxious as hell
Manson, you're safe in that cell, be thankful it's jail
I used to be my mommy's little angel at twelve
At thirteen I was puttin shells in a gauge on a shelf
I used to, get punched and bullied on my block
Til I cut a kitten's head off and stuck it in this kid's mail box
I used to give a, fuck, now I could give a fuckless
What do I think of success? It sucks too much press I'm stressed
Too much cess with agress too upset it's just too much mess
I guess I must just blew up quick, yes
Grew up quick, no, was raised right, whatever you say is wrong
Whatever I say is right
You think of my name now whenever you say hi
Became a commodity because I'm W H I T E,
Cuz MTV was so friendly to me, can't wait till Kim sees me
Now is it worth it? Look at my life how is it perfect?
Read my lips bitch, what, my mouth isn't workin?
You see this finger, oh it's upside down
Here let me turn this motherfucker up right now

Chorus

I take each individual degenerates head and reach into it
Just to see if he's influenced by me if he listens to music
And if he feeds into this shit he's an innocent victim
And becomes a puppet on the string of my tennis shoe
My name is Slim Shady, I been crazy way before radio didn't play me
The sensational, "Back is the incredible!"
With Ken Kaniff who just finds the men edible
It's Ken Kaniff, on the internet
Trying to, lure your kids, wit him into bed
It's a, sick world we live in these days
Slim for pete's sakes put down Christopher Reeve's legs!
Sheez you guys are so sensitive
Slim it's touchy subject try and just don't mention it
Mind with no sense in it, tried to get so frenetic
Whose eyes get so squinted, I'm blind from smokin 'em
Wit my windows tinted, wit nine limos rented, doin lines of coke in 'em
Wit a bunch of guys hoppin out all high and indo scented
And that's where I get my name from, that's why they call me

Chorus

I take seven kids from Columbine
Stand 'em all in line
Add an AK - 47, a revolver, a nine
A mack 11 and an all assault a problem of mine
A natural old school a bully shot em all at one time
Cuz I'm Shady, they call me as crazy
As the world was over this whole Y2K thing
And by the way, N'Sync, why do they sing?
Am I the only one who realizes they stink?
Should I dye my hair pink and care what y'all think?
Lip sync and buy a bigger size of earrings?
It's why I tend to block out when I hear things
Cuz all these fans screamin is makin my ears ring
So I just, throw up a middle finger and let it linger
Longer than the rumor that I was stickin it to Christina
Cuz if I ever stuck it to any singer in showbiz
It'd be Jennifer Lopez and Puffy you know this!
I'm sorry Puff, but I don't give a fuck if this chick was my own mother
I still fuck her with no rubber and cum inside her
and have a son and a new brother at the same time
and just say that it aint mine, what's my name?

Chorus

Guess who's back (back)
geh- geh- guess who's back
Hi mom
Guess who's back
geh- geh- guess who's back
D-12
Guess who's back
geh- geh- geh- geh- guess who's back
Dr Dre
Guess who's back, back, back, back
Slim Shady
2001
I'm blew out from this blunt (sighs)
Fuck


MARSHALL MATHERS

You know I just don't get it
Last year I was nobody
This year I'm sellin records
Now everybody wants to come around like I owe em somethin
Heh, the fuck you want from me, ten million dollars?
Get the fuck out of here

Chorus:
You see I'm, just Marshall Mathers (Marshall Mathers)
I'm just a regular guy,
I don't know why all the fuss about me (fuss about me)
Nobody ever gave a fuck before,
All they did was doubt me (did was doubt me)
Now everybody wanna run they mouth
And take shots at me (take shots at me)

Yo, you might see me joggin, you might see me walkin
You might see me walkin a dead rottweiler dog
with it's head chopped off in the park with a spiked collar
hollerin at him cause the son of a bitch won't quit barkin
(grrrr, ARF ARF) Or leanin out a window, with a cocked shotgun
Drivin up the block in the car that they shot 'Pac in
Lookin for Big's killers, dressed in ridiculous
blue and red like I don't see what the big deal is
Double barrel twelve gauge thinkin of Chris Wallace
Pissed off, cause Biggie and 'Pac just missed all this
Watchin all these cheap imitations get rich off 'em
and get dollars that shoulda been there's like they switched wallets
And amidst all this Crist' poppin and wristwatches
I had to sit back and just watch and just get nauseous
and walk around with an empty bottle of Remi Martin
startin shit like some 26-year-old skinny Cartman ("God damnit!")
I'm anti-Backstreet and Ricky Martin
with instincts to kill N'Sync, don't get me started
These fuckin brats can't sing and Britney's garbage
What's this bitch retarded?  Gimme back my sixteen dollars
All I see is sissies in magazines smiling
Whatever happened to whylin out and bein violent?
Whatever happened to catchin a good-ol' fashioned
passionate ass-whoopin and gettin your shoes coat and your hat tooken?

New Kids on the Block, sucked a lot of dick
Boy/girl groups make me sick
And I can't wait 'til I catch all you faggots in public
I'ma love it.. (hahaha)

Vanilla Ice don't like me (uh-uh)
Said some shit in Vibe to spite me (yup)
Then went and dyed his hair just like me (hehe)
A bunch of little kids wanna swear just like me
and run around screamin, "I don't care," to spite me (nah nah)
I think I was put here to annoy the world
and destroy your little 4-year-old boy or girl
Plus I was put here to put fear in faggots who spray Faygo Root Beer
and call themselves "Clowns" cause they look queer
Faggot2Dope and Silent Gay
Claimin Detroit, when y'all live twenty miles away (fuckin punks)
And I don't wrestle, I'll knock you fuckin faggots the fuck out
Ask 'em about the club they was at when they snuck out
after they ducked out the back when they saw us and bugged out
(AHHH!) Ducked down and got paintballs shot at they truck, blaow!
Look at y'all runnin your mouth again
when you ain't seen a fuckin Mile Road, South of 10
And I don't need help, from D-12, to beat up two females
in make-up, who may try to scratch me with Lee Nails
"Slim Anus," you damn right, Slim Anus
I don't get fucked in mine like you two little flaming faggots!

Cause I'm, just Marshall Mathers (Marshall Mathers)
I'm not a wrestler guy,
I'll knock you out if you talk about me (you talk about me)
Come and see me on the streets aloneif you assholes doubt me (assholes doubt me)
And if you wanna run your mouth
then come take your best shot at me (your best shot at me)

Is it because you love me that y'all expect so much of me?
You little groupie bitch, get off me, go fuck Puffy
Now because of this blonde mop that's on top
and this fucked up head that I've got, I've gone pop?
The underground just spunned around and did a 360
Now these kids diss me and act like some big sissies
"Oh, he just did some shit with Missy,
 so now he thinks he's too big to do some shit with MC Get-Bizzy"
My fuckin bitch mom's suin for ten million
She must want a dollar for every pill I've been stealin
Shit, where the fuck you think I picked up the habit?
All I had to do was go in her room and lift up her mattress
Which is it bitch, Mrs. Briggs or Ms. Mathers?
It doesn't matter you...
Faggot!
Talkin about I fabricated my past
He's just aggravated I won't ejaculate in his ass (Uhh!)
So tell me, what the hell is a fella to do?
For every million I make, another relative sues
Family fightin and fussin over who wants to invite me to supper
All the sudden, I got 90 somethin' cousins (Hey it's me!)
A half-brother and sister who never seen me
or even bothered to call me until they saw me on TV
Now everybody's so happy and proud
I'm finally allowed to step foot in my girlfriend's house
Hey-hey!  And then to top it off, I walked to the newsstand
to buy this cheap-ass little magazine with a food stamp
Skipped to the last page, flipped right fast
and what do I see?  A picture of my big white ass
Okay, let me give you motherfuckers some help:
Uhh, here - DOUBLE XL, DOUBLE XL
Now your magazine shouldn't have so much trouble to sell
Ahh fuck it, I'll even buy a couple myself

Chorus

Ken Kaniff

Uuuhoh, yeah

Oh, suck it
Oh, fuck yu
Oh, Shagy
Oh, this is why they call you two dope ain't it
Oh, fuck yu
Oh, take it out, take it out!
Oh, now give something to Jay

Oh, violent Jay

Wait don't bite it

Don't be violent with it

now just suck it

nice and slow, yeah

oh oh fuck yu

you got oh

now give it back to Shagy

he was sucking it better

Oh, now say my name

Eminem, say my name, Eminem

WHAT!

Ohh fuck you guys

Gi-give me my dick back

Fuck you guys

If you want Eminem you can Have Eminem

Fuck you guys (Ken) I'm on leaving (no)

(Kenn wait, oh damn)

(Nice going Shagy)

DRUG BALLAD

Yeaaah, hahahaha...whooooo, shit!
Aight
Guess what?  I ain't coming in yet...
I'll come in a minute
Ayo...This is my love song...it goes like this

Back when Mark Walhberg was Marky Mark
This is how we used to make the party start
We used to mix Hen' with Bacardi Dark
And when it, kicks in you can hardly talk
And by the, sixth gin you're gonna probably crawl
And you'll be, sick then and you'll probably barf
And my pre-diction is you're gonna probably fall
Either somewhere in the lobby or the hallway wallAnd everything's spinning
You're beginin' to think women are swimming in pink linen again in the sink
Then in a couple of minutes that bottle of Guiness is finished
You are now allowed to officially slap bitches
You have the right to remain violent and start wilin'
Start a fight with the same guy that was smart eyin' you
Get in your car, start it, and start drivin'
Over the island and cause a 42 car pile-up
Earth calling, pilot to co-pilot
Look at the life on this planet, sir, no sign of it
All I can see is a bunch of smoke flyin'
And I'm so high that I might die if I go by it
Let me out of this place
I'm outta place
I'm in outer space
I've just vanished without a trace
I'm going to a pretty place now where the flowers grow
I'll be back in an hour or so

Chorus
'Cause every time I go to try to leave
Something keeps pullin' on my sleeve
I don't wanna, but I gotta stay
These drugs really got ahold of me
'Cause every time I try to tell them "no"
They won't let me ever let them go
I'm a sucka all I gotta say
These drugs really got ahold of me

In third grade, all I used to do
Was sniff glue through a tube and play rubix cube
17 years later I'm as rude as jew
Scheming on the first chick with the hugest boobs
I've got no game
And every face looks the same
They've got no name
So I don't need game to play
I just say whatever I want to whoever I want
Whenever I want, wherever I want, however I want
However, I do show some respect to few
As ecstacy got me standing next to you
Getting sentimental as fuck spillin' guts to you
We just met
But I think I'm in love with yo
uBut you're on it too
So you tell me you love me too
Wake up in the morning like "yo, what the fuck we do?"
I gotta go bitch
You know I have stuff to do
'Cause if I get caught cheatin' then I'm stuck with you
But in the long run
These drugs are probably going to catch up sooner or later
But fuck it, I'm on one
So let's enjoy
Let the X destroy your spinal cord
So it's not a straight line no more
'Til we walk around looking like some wind-up dolls
Shit's sticking out of our backs like a dinosaur
Shit, six hits won't even get me high no more
So bye for now
I'm going to try to find some more

Chorus

That's the sound of a bottle when it's hollow
When you swallow it all wollow and drown in your sorrow
And tomorrow you're probably going to want to do it again
What's a little spinal fluid between you and a friend? Screw it
And what's a little bit of alcohol poisoning?
And what's a little fight?
Tomorrow you'll be boys again
It's your life
Live it however you wanna
Marijuana is everywhere
Where was you brought up?
It don't matter as long as you get where you're going
'Cause none of the shit is going to mean shit where we're going
They tell you to stop, but you just sit there ignoring
Even though you wake up feeling like shit every morning
But you're young
You've got a lot of drugs to do
Girls to screw
Parties to crash
Sucks to be you
If I could take it all back now, I wouldn't
I would have did more shit that people said that I shouldn't
But I'm all grown up now and upgraded and graduated
Did better drugs and updated
But I've still got a lot of growing up to do
I've still got a whole lot of throwing up to spew
But when it's all said and done I'll be 40
Before I know it with a 40 on the porch telling stories
With a bottle of Jack
Two grandkids in my lap
Babysiting for Hailey while Hailey's out getting smashed

Chorus

Drugs really got ahold of me
They really got ahold of me
'Cause drugs really got ahold of me
They really got ahold of me